damned

…and I let myself fall.

sometimes the sea wells up inside and i want to be free.
sometimes the pain is  hard to hide ; i feel you inside of me.
                             
when i cant cry i taste the tears that came a day before
when i cant speak i feel the words churn inside this whore
give me peace, i beg of you, oh , give me peace in hell
i crave your touch but in the end i hate how far i fell

from grace

sometimes i lie upon the floor and beg to hold you near
my head's alight with words of love but i still cradle fear
so, listen, i have much to say to you before i go
my soul is more important than any  love i know
Your eyes they tell the truth in pain of something i have missed
with all those sleepless nights I craved the everlasting kiss

of love

and i still pray,and  i still want salvation if its real
but can i fight this demon of that thing in which i feel?
can i break your chains in which i bound upon myself
if i leave will i just find the dark in someone else?
these questions slip and drop just like the spittle from my lips
these evil things they drown in wine so red that my love sips
delighing me
again
and i am damned…

pulled an tugged until there is no more left to feel
I try to say I'm done but this thing is so real
denied of that soft whisper of my confession
back into the obscure life procession

and it is my profession

to do as well as I should do at all
so why should I do more than fall

I am damned

Suppose

Suppose that I had dreamt of this
and it happened not at all
suppose there was one heated kiss
hands upraised against the wall

mouth to mouth and skin unending
hands to flesh and flesh to soul
gasping with each moment sending
pleasure with this thing we stole

and suppose the heart would follow
with the mind that knows all truth
and with this pain I swallow
numbed of loss and learned with proof

should we try to know the reason
why some things are never done
let us try our mights with seasons
under moon and under sun

should we break that which is broken
making good of things twere tainted
shall we honor all those tokens
which has deemed to make us sainted
painted a picture thus...

We should be dead
as we tread upon morality
duality finding compliance...


we will dream no more in silence
keeping treasures locked within
we will open up this mindless
unsettling, searching...lust born sin

and as each endearing moment
gathers dust and stills the time
we will make believe our torment
is but just another rhyme

...and is just within the mind...

finding solace in those glances
quick and ending but salvation
eyes of water, taking chances
eyes of earth, the navigation

from: whisper

don't turn away
don't try to hide
don't close your eyes
don't turn out the light

-evanescense

Dignity

I find anger awaiting me here today
I play the same song saddened
gladdened by simple gestures
pleasures imagined and wanted
flaunted and thought highly of
above it all, I sit alone again
the plan is to remain as this
bliss is found in my head see
free from drama and hate
fate has found a place
space is small but full
lull me to sleep, my dear

I fear you no more
clinging to this and that
a hat I have worn badly
sadly....I see the truth
proof of what was not expected
rejected over and over

so, it is as it is
business is the same
my name, respected
reflected on it all
I fall in love with me
and I am free
you see, its not about
the clout, the fame
the same has been said
the dead have found new life
strife shall be washed away
so stay if you wish
twist it to this or that other
brother, I shall play no game
the blame will not be mine
my mind shall not compete
beaten down and pressured
measured by many things

wings...I have wings
brings new life and strength

the length of spring
sings with coming summer
bummer....
that lies should steal
the you from me and me from you

the blue is tainted too
and I see through it all

so hide your dark thing
fling it to the depths so deep

and keep...
that which you hold dear

What you are to me

Part of my mind,

nothing...but more than that..

Sometimes a figment of
my imagination reminds me.

I can taste you as you go
and I know when you are near
your scent intoxicates me

away, far away....

Together we fade into nothing.
You are...
Rolling across my tongue,
I take the fear... your resistance
as my reason why.

 small words explode upon my palate.
I taste you inside and out-
feeling you close and so far away

complication.
I give to you, Nothing...
becoming hardened..numbed

I am woven, incapacitated.
Touching your flesh, I know you,

touching your soul...

 I unravel

Grant me this...

I wish to speak of this
these things you should know
the reasons for my madness
my insanity...inconsistent ramblings
the reasons why I grow angry
the reasons for my smile
the reasons why
you are always there
in my mind
I wish to speak of this
to you
only you
quietly
softly
lips pressed against your ear
whispering
my weakness
...with my heart beating...thumping
loudly
filled
with love

sadness

Oh god, I cannot stop
drop after drop falls
walls of tears for us
must you pull away
say those angry things
 stings and I am broken
soaking in the dust
trust me and convey...
what must be said...say...

stay please stay
play pretend awhile
softly defile

smile

skin against skin
bend the rules
fools in a trance
chance the sins
spins round and round
sounds, rhymes, music
ticks of the mind
kind statements...mumbling


 tumbling
fumbling with words
birds cannot sweeter sing
bring me to you
and you to me
free...uninhibited
limited and heartbreaking
shaking in my sleep
creep to me and speak

sweetly

quietly

then touch me
see it is the touch
much that I crave
save me
oh, save me
don't let it die
fore
I cannot kill it
nor will it
away