slave to the condition

Fascinated...
by this caustic vexation
an unending torential rain
of sorts...
I grip desperately, the handle
which explores me
and I bend to the hand
 which holds my plee.
Falling down, still falling
groveling at the feet
something near, unchained
demons -I will retreat...
in my chaos and oblivion-
my fear...
something very softly unspoken
invades my itching ear.
If I should have the answers
and focus on the clarity
these lies unspoken have
their rarity.
Truth be told...
I search till sanity's end.
At my masters will
I begin again...denied
with this denial
I again bend in the trial
fascinated by edges of
roughened lives that claim
I submit to that
which has no name.
failure will come in
repititions of thousands or more
in names so saccarine
pronounce the whore

fascinated by the fascination of
without and there within
drawn by the hopeless
power of men
brought to the reality of
nothing attained
life that is meaningless
a perfect stain

Embodiment of sensuality

No pretty way to say it

No pretty way to say these things, no pretty way to pose
I watched this happen right under my hands, under my nose
I watched it work its filthy magic just as it always did
slowly and precisely, it packed the can and closed the lid
It was perfected, as any evil thing would be
I watched it reach into its pocket hiding the key
No pretty words could be spoken from such putrid lips
Quietly that pretty thing, from reality, it slips
I guess in time, in gardens, pretty things may grow again
And maybe on the wind, a pretty breeze may blow away my sin

And finally there may an enlightening answer
to every form of chaos binding cancer.

Our sentence, our answer....no guilt.

And she said
"I want it quick, quick
as the answer
the sure answer to
all questions...ended."
And she said
"I don't want this
human condition, and
no one understands."

I was her breath to reason
when no reason existed,
her ear to the answer.

And the voices beside me said
"Dive from the deep end when
you know you cannot swim.
Watch the flesh move and
expand."
"You will understand that
there is more reason than this."
And she said
"A pile of flesh, it wouldn't be
my fault, If you answer it for me."
"My legacy is to die and I want
it to end quickly after the verdict."
One breath, she said, then gone.
And she asked...
"Is that so wrong?"

Paranoid bliss

Yes, I am scared of your own reflection
and I am scared of mine too.
please peel me free from this rendition of
what erupted into life anew
false hope, I convince myself
that you must fill me with
that's how it goes, deep into
a wandering version of a myth
what if i can climb to the surface
show my face? It is slipping-
surely slipping, from my
hands back to that place.
I can kill it, dead as dead has been
but yet, again....it gets
the best of me- I cannot see
My dread wrapped in admiration
sometimes it pricks the scenes
with fascination-I feel it break
As soon as words erupt and become real
oh, this is the torturous pain
I take and that I feel.

sweet agony

Has my blood pumped ever so urgently
as when you were mine,
I sit and waste time
dawdling in our fantasies.
Each moment is but a fleeting
memory in the making
each night a dream
of you would awaken
me.
Have my fists clenched so tightly
oh so desperately, I cannot pray
if you were but a breath away...
"oh stay, please don't leave"
I would ask,
"and weather this horror with me,
this task."
I find happiness that could never be,
Has my heart ever ached like this
in this blindness I see?
A lie would be truth,
if both were free.
Have I grown hungry with thoughts
of this,
an eerie hollow disguised as bliss?
Or has it all been lost in
that very last kiss
have my tears finally
given me the answer...
Is this my madness
come to fruition?

Control

Within the thorny tangles,
there is no escape.
I keep tracing the lines
of your face finding
winding roads-
dead ends..and no amends.
All those smiles
with empty eyes, yes
generate the most powerful
lies, I would guess
One captivity falls
victim to another
yet I deem to smother
in kisses sweet.
With lingering
words so afraid this
is where I been
this is where I laid.
Winding, pulling,
tugging touches
yet, every sentiment
and my heart blushes...
Every doomed and unfit
poison seduction-
a powerful concoction
among the prickly
brambles of a poor production.
There is simply no excuse
for a love like this.