My loup-garou

Enduring
inside my lunacy hollow .
 torturous zephyr
pull and tug...I swallow
I can almost hear you call to me
on the breeze, senses inflamed...
On my flesh, in my eyes
feral beast...I cannot tame

come to me

Take this gift
from my chest
where the drums pound
void of rest
in the rift till now

My loup-garou...My dear
you are my last faithful vow
silken voices in the trees
whisper things that ruin  me
rumble rumble
but the skies are clear

come to me, my dear

Oh, the stars will watch
my demise...
my fate...no love but thine
phantom of the forest
stop this breath of mine
near my rest, my plee...

Come to me

My open arms scream my mortality
black and suffocating life
no more

come to me

Your bite-the open door
set me free

uncharmed

Unfulfilled, it will always be
like grasping seeking hands
ever empty, wanting, hungry
-striving it never understands...
the logic, which is magic
and simple yet to most
 nothing can convince her heart
to stop her eager, seeking  ghost
the one so close and far away
that finds such silly game
when anger burns the hurt inside
but love remains the flame
it's all the same
so torturous, so cold it seems
when lying in the darkest dreams
and feeling hands upon her skin
thoughts known as words are born
relish in this delicioius sin
and burn again in scorn
---
mojo make a darkened soul
and gris gris tie my heart
ju ju say that i cant go
no never will i part

Tysha's love

I love you
rancid, rotten.
I love you
musty, moldy.
I love you-
oh, fowl the stench.
Under earth
in Sunday’s best,
you rest.
Dreaming not,
silent lay
your chest.
I love you
skin is slipping,
in putrefying brew.
I lay down...
on top of you
I love you.
Sobbing,
I dig deeper;
nails packed
with the earth.
I am witness
to the ground
as it gives birth.
I love you.
I love you.
You take my hand
in mushy rot
pulling me to you.
I understand
no matter what
I love you

It happened again, and I am not surprised
but this is me
... and that is you and...
 if you cant hack it then...
 screw it.

 I am so used
to it after all.

When I showed you what I was hidding
inside my little box..you cringed and...
 you said that you wouldn’t and...
 you lied so screw you and...

 your
false face.

And when the monsters came you pretended to
care but maybe you were the monster and...
 then you left the scene of the crime...
 with bloody hands...

you liar.

You said that I didn’t scare you and...
 that I was just a girl and...
 so I shared way too much and...

 I regret it

You said so much and so little it is true but guess what
that is what they all say...

right before they fuck you.

Music

That melody envelopes me
into your senuous reverie,
And your hypnotic, poison sea
of pleasure.

And oh what pain this pleasure brings
up through my torso to my wings,
as your hands race across those strings
of magic.

Your music knows no boundaries.
It thinks, it hears and yes, it sees
It loves with no obsenities.
It is pure.

Sending me into the throws
of unrelenting bliss that grows
and deep inside of him, he knows
my adoration.

I do love you

It doesnt matter, it seems
if love's tied in a  knot

you fill my dreams with you

with rough roving hands
you take my soul and place
it into your own space
witchcraft, I say
but you smile it away
and tell me that I am a funny girl
I push away over my shoulder, the ginger curl
and giggle in time with your climax.

oh dear, you push me too far
into your sticky sweet dark thickening tar
doesnt matter at all
if I choose to fall...
into your strong arms and gasp in delight
I could love you and lose my sight
wouldn't matter
your heartbeat pounds against my ear
as i pull you ever closer, near
I have no regrets as of yet
but my love is like a drunken pirouette

pigmat

From the giant machination
deep within the press machine
in the midst of Herlan’s rhythm
round the punch and in-between
Under foot, Pigmat is watching
Softened steel, the product born
With every beat a drop has fallen
all neglected and forlorn.
Hardened pieces fall in random
from the gaping metal hole
bleeding freely, oil is feeding
soaking soothing Pigmat’s soul.
Under foot and under pressure
likely servant to the deed
thriving in the blood of progress
dying with production’s need
You will see him in the darkness
giving meaning to the cause
Pigmat offers up his body
to the tired relentless paws
greasy hands are ever reaching
tossing Pigmat to his death
he is destined yet to serve them
with his last disposing breath

Abuse

The knife cries out to me..

“Take revenge!”
The gun shouts,

“Show them who’s boss!”

My fists sing, with
uninhibited glee,

“We’re free!”

So there is one thing
that I wish that
I could be.

I wish I could
be you right now;
the victum of my rage
I wish I could have sympathy
for the pain I feel.
My knife cuts deep
you see; deep inside
this mystery.
I wish I could
feel the torment
and then kiss
it goodbye
so easily...
like a gunshot
wound to the thigh.

That is nothing.

Your gun blows
away the dreams
that no one can replace.
 why is
there terror on
your face?
It warrants
pity from the ones
who do not know
your guilt.

My knuckles are
cracked and bleeding
and bandaged by
the careless man
who decided to
believe you.

I wish I could
be you right now,
recovering from
the pain.

Is the dream dead?

I once dreamed that the sun shone bright
and your hand within my hand was warm.
We walked through grasses tall and waving
in some strange eternal summer.

I long for your touch; your whispered words
to soothe me from my heartache,
to cradle me beneath the pines
and there, you finally tell me your secrets.

There, suddenly a  vision came to welcome me
with a picture of the way we never were and
how it was never summer without you.

oh, we never shared our heartbeats...

Now I dream alone tonight remembering
holding an empty promise never lived
talking to the cold wind and relentless stars...

I wish I could not wish...


....but I will keep on dreaming

Satine

I will always be alone
borrowed, lended, second best
I will always wait right here
for whoever needs the rest
I will make myself available
as some old common whore
for who I hold my love for
and who now needs it more
I know that I mean nothing
displaced and empty too
a fragment of a person who
gives love to you and you and you...

when needed I am perfect
special, precious baby doll
I am sweetness, sugar darling
to whomever wants to call
to whomever that I fancy or
better yet, who fancies me
I am the apple of their eyes see
when the time comes needeth be

Putting away the dead thing

It feels so unnatural
to go against my heart...
when it beats with such dread

hollow

within my chest

and it screams out your name
in strange dreams.

It claws and it tears
trying desperately to break free
from the prison-

how can such cold things

speak...whimper...cry?

bars of ribs that encase it-

no eyes peer out those windows

I am really not confused
by the hollow beatings
of my heart.

nor the persistence of it's stares

I understand its language
but I plug my ears.

yearning yearning...
fists are turning
digging into skin
thats burning

I cannot hear the pleading and begging.

It will do no good to try and reason with it.

beating my chest till it's raw

So I think that it is dying
just starving to death
and I have refused to feed it.

neglect in the highest form

But importance must come, in
 knowing its place.

It seems it is better off dead
than free.

And so I pack it away
in a little bone box
surrounded by sucking life
of defeat.

I soon forget
that it is there at all.

With luck, I will have no memory
of its existence.

what did you say...

bout love?

Not Away

Your ghosts...so deep, so many,
they have graced me one by one
And so the saddest failings have
returned void of the one.
You have danced with me, and me
with you until that day returned--
I have returned, and so be it
in hell, I guess I'll burn.
I know this shell, this body
it  simply does not mind...
my futile attempts, my dear,
to make you see when blind

I will make you see when blind
know the being from inside,
feel my coming to your bed
making truth of all I lied.
Rising up from phantoms past,
lantern lit, the virgin comes.
I am ready for the calling,
fists are shaking on the drums.
Lips they quiver, and they speak
silent chants to draw you near,
as the words from past, envelope
present whispers on your ear.
Silent drops of admiration
as the drugs course through my soul.
I will feel those arms of heaven
take their prize and take their toll.
As those waters lick the shore now
and the dead ones stay devoted-
I will journal all the verses,
I will keep those quotes you quoted.
I will keep those quotes you quoted.
I will keep those quotes you quoted.
I will keep those fucking quotes you quoted.

I will keep your poems dear

You will know me once again
as you knew me long before.
I will give to you the answer
I will open up the door.
Sleep so silent on your pillow
not a motion not a sound.
I will sleep upon my cushion
just as silent, underground

don't be daft, thats just a draft
there are no phantoms

Dreams bite

It's a horrible sight
when dreams seem to bite
When chasing you, hunting you
into the night..
When having no mercy
and loving your pain,
dreams will disrobe you
and rape you again.
It's a horrible thought
when dreams are congealing 

 lying on a cold slab
staring at the ceiling
feeling your new fangs
burst through your gums
knowing your dreams killed
all of your chums
It's  a horrible  day
when your dreams aren't there
and you lie in a coffin,
with no hope, in prayer

dreams will not heal you

no dreams aren't kind

surely they'll drain you

when reading your mind.

It's  a horrible death

when dreams hold the key

staring and comparing

no reflection of me

The girl inside

She sang a song so lovely
it rang thru time and space.
She sang a song of nothing
and then caressed my face.

Her heart was torn in peices
but she sang her song to me.
I saw the smile of torment
and longed to set her free.

I could not be the one,no
to bring her peace it seemed,
for all the love in heaven
could never fix the dream.

She sang of pain and lonliness
that soothed me all night long.
She ran her fingers thru my hair
then gave to me, her song.

So when I sleep I think of her
residing in my mind.
I'll feel her touch so tenderly
her voice I will rewind.

Her song it stays forever
inside the hell I feel.
I hear her sing of heaven
and I believe it's real.

The Other

In the beginning
there was you
and only with
your darkness,
Drew the light
into a swirling
mass of hope
for what was
better.
In the beginning
I followed you
through filth
and putrid
script which
blew and you
just writ and writ
a new...

thing
of awesome
beauty
....

Trail of the tear

Each time you leave me here
I watch the trail of that one tear
as it falls upon my breast
there it finds its place of rest
until gasp, I shake it free
and it falls down the rest of me
moving warmth of one drop flow
from my knee down to my toe
feel it splash upon my feet
makes me recognize defeat
that my tears are shed in vain
in the midst of all the pain

Contraption

Overly exaggerated form of this
encaged and eraged simple fix.
Motion erotic, robotic, complex
-quick fluid motion mimicking reflex.
Hold me, rearranging mixing parts,
pieces of broken mehcanical hearts.
Made over and pulled together in seams
stiches in the mental cold lazer beams.
Shudders and trembles-redundant vibration
situations so simple, made complex complication.
Lines of assembly, generic the people
turning the empty brass cup into full.
Building the vessel just so you won't drink
analyzing the empty cold brain just to think.

Sorrow

Sorrow is sometimes welcoming
compared to hollow shell
sorrow sometimes welcoming
compared to this cold hell
sorrow can be blessing
and sorrow can be ripe
with new blood from the cuting
and hatred from the knife
don't think of sorrow, lightly
yes sorrow fills the void
sorrow makes us human
and gives life to the droid
sorrow can be soothing
and sorrow makes us whole
the pain you feel of sorrow
can fill your barren soul