Sunday, February 17, 2013


want your arms round me now
come and I'll show you how
to touch me and feel
and know this is real
let's live for the moment
in our skin so content
fate has no time
no excuse

my love has no limits
... it's huge, it's profuse

don't deny my my passion
don't moderate or ration
I can't breathe, I can't think
surely come to the brink

of lunacy...

I think I will crave
to the edge of the grave
and if I should fall
don't ponder or stall

I started this, fed this
I made believe all
I welcomed this madness
bit by sore bit
I fashioned and bred this
I wanted this shit

I wanted so badly
I have dreamed, fascinated
from the time I was smitten
till I last masturbated

a thing in my mind
which has grown so immense
I've drowned, choked and bled
Yes, I've died ever since


contained and drained
here we go again
man, you push further
murdered the will to be
free, so says the caged bird
I heard I will be locked away
not today..but soon
moon is full, but I cannot be wild
child of circumstance and done
one, I am one with nothing
running and grasping straws
maws open to devour
hour by hour i submit
I say...
quit misunderstanding the sickness
the quickness of our faults
assaults again and cripples
ripples explode across the brain
pain is unusual and deadly
a medly of this and that
a cat in a fairy mask
a flask of bad wine...
mine, you cannot be but remain
in my brain...a strain of beauty
impunity, a maker of cruelty
duelty, two and twice of us
must the game grow weary
clearly, you have put me away
today, already you close the box
rocks, you sink me deeper
weeper who weeps not
got no love for me, see
agee to not agree
free?? I am contained
ingrained into my self loathing
but yet...
 you hold me still

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Model of the Unconditional

you are a reason
that is what you are
for my yearning so far
a soothing hand-lovely dream
I picture those far away things
including you
no, there are no words
but some words would
this is me when I
am not so nice
but when I think twice
it is defeated
a potion
a spell, a charm
they wouldn't work
but would they work harm
true as this is
I can manage
just a quirk
to justify this damage
time without you lulls
in its torturous reduction
If only time would
encounter such sweet
for things to be as they should
If I could
I would change this fabric, I would
this content-this pattern that was given
but I would not change
the reason
I am driven
unconditionally given

Thursday, February 7, 2013

It does not hurt

I do not miss you, no..not at all
Never would I beg, nor would I call
I would never kiss you so passionately
Nor unveil myself for you to see
This will not happen, nor did It before
I did not cry at night, upon the floor
I do not miss you and this is the truth
the absense of my tears show you the proof
I hate your eyes, and fall not to your charms
I would never ever rush right in your arms
I really don't care if I ever see you again
doesn't bother me that you are not my friend
I have not wished in secret, to have one kiss
I will not try, cuz you, I do not miss
Never did my heart pound when we touch
there are no desires,lusts or such
there is no flame which burns so deep inside
I simply hate it when you're by my side
your scent goes unnoticed, I crave you not
I wish I could will away, what you are not
I do not miss you and I never will
there are no dreams I long to fulfill
I do not love you, and to hell with this thing
and deep in the night the hurt, it doesn't sting

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Of eyes and string


These senses are your enemies
seeing inconsistencies,
beckoning, she hears these
heart strings

She shouts sparatic erratic rants
 failing and failing and failing
fallen into a trance...
both obvious and startling
happen stance

from strange and unfamiliar places
came her heart...wounded
pleading odd cases

vacant and soon dead

pure and with disease
Is she a plague.. will she infect you?
you cannot see this
this thing she did pursue
and she does miss
ball of yarn and bliss


She is wanted coveted and desired
but not by you...your eyes down cast
She is hated, feared and flawed
shall this pass?
growing distant by the minute
by at your hand part in it

nothing sinks, sticks or adheres
when patterns kill
months making years

Her body writhing nightly
Her arms searching fruitlessly
has this rotation ceased
halted upon vanity's corruption
a lost and longing thing...

ropes and ties and string...


have mercy

this weak-minded goddess
who spells and charges
has fallen at your feet
deaf in blindness

she is no monster so... she
grafts those things torn
long ago
she fumbles shaking, weeping
fusing needed things
to glory...seeping...
delusion brings

for she will connect
that which aches
to the firmament of heaven
before it  breaks
my every yearning


You have no idea
the length or depth or width
of that which wraps
around her heart
what shall she gain
if you undo this thing
by pulling just one

Monday, February 4, 2013

...I , madness

emaciated and torn asunder
thunder strikes the cold rail
pail under my chin, regurgitated
consentrated on the damage
image is gone, go to sleep
creep again, creep...look inside
ride the white dream horses hide
confide in me those darkeest hues
blues black and crimson clues
dues are paid and line been written
bitten into poison fruit, smitten
I will not hate thee, you walk upon me
see what you have done
gun still smoking...
choking and choking
following the shadow still
fill me with corosion more
explore the limits of this disaster
master, is it mine or yours?
doors into more painful pleasures
measures of pointless screams
dreams cannot stop this madness

Saturday, February 2, 2013

push and pull

Keeping me out
...firmament of doubt
want your touch so bad
oh so much, my dad
my papa... my master
bended knees in disaster
I cry, I beg, I plead
one touch, one kiss...I need

the forcefeild that separates
segregates one from another
I am momma, maa'm and mother
want to nurse you, bring you back to life
...I want to put away the knife

grasping... longing, your pain I feel
knowing impossibility, this is real
but wall by wall, you are protected
and time after time, I am rejected
blown away, I am autumn leaves
both mind and heart, they grieve
soothed only by time, another day
rehearsing the line, this secret play
I will surely dream, fantasize that maybe...
I can chip away the
flick by flick cracks form in the wall
this is the impossible task of it all
sorrow in madness grips tight and ceizes
nothing but he thought of this, pleases
nothing but your eyes can hold the truth
suddenly calmed, I need no other proof
the sadness which lingers there within
metaphorically drips and I am worn thin
lust like condensation on glass collects
my mind roams forever, continues to reflect
each and every motion clue is given
from the darkest hour till the brightest heaven

keeping me out, yep keeping me near
maddening confusion, feeding my fear
aching from the distance and falling apart
tightening the grip that you have on my heart